How to avoid a miserable summer with your jobless teen

Unemployment statistics are continuing to rise in the Unites States, and the jobless rate may affect more than the adults in the community. Teens, who would normally take a summer job to make some cash for fun and for the upcoming school year, may find themselves in a tight spot.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the current teen unemployment rate is 21.7 percent, up from last year's 15.8 percent -- the highest rate in nearly 20 years.

This summer, your teenager may encounter the challenge of older, more experienced job seekers competing for positions in a tight economy, and may come up empty.

"The thought of our sons or daughters lying on the couch watching TV all summer long is simply not a possibility," says Laura Gauld, co-author of "The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have" and co-founder of TBJ parenting seminars.

"Parents know that kind of behavior can lead to boredom, bad habits, and low self-esteem, and they worry."

What can parents do to support their teens through what may be a summer of unemployment, so that the family may continue to enjoy the season?

Malcolm Gauld is president of Hyde Schools, known widely for their unique approach to helping students develop character.

"Parents can look at this situation with an eye to short- and long-term goals," says Malcolm, "and stay close to their priorities. We believe in turning obstacles into opportunities, and this is a
prime example. Short term, it's only one summer. But long term, it's about an attitude toward life and its challenges. So raise your expectations for your kids."

In the event that your teen cannot locate a summer job this year, the Gaulds offer several suggestions.

FIND A MENTOR. Teens and their parents can seek out a mentor -- a family friend, business or community leader -- to work with voluntarily, learning their business, and helping them in whatever way they can. This opportunity would be scheduled, like any job, and keep your teen engaged. He or she would continue to learn new things and gain valuable experience for the future.

VOLUNTEER. There are neighbors, churches, and community centers all around, and they need help. Call and volunteer for filing, clean-ups, aiding shut-ins, helping the elderly with lawn work and other activities.

ASSIGN A PROJECT. Parents can offer their teen an important task to do at home, and pay them something for it. Whether it's painting the garage or planting a garden, it needs to be done well. Teens can gain self-esteem when entrusted with an important project at home.

"All kids need to be responsible for jobs, whether in the community or at home," adds Laura. "And they respond positively to feeling needed."

The Gaulds also suggest a Three Point Plan for the family that will help them as individuals and as a unit.

1. *Weekly family meetings*. Take charge and schedule a weekly family meeting where everyone is invited to share ideas, thoughts, challenges, stories. Communication remains very important through this time.

2. *Jobs.* Everyone in the family needs a job, and, as a member of the family, teens are no exception. All members must take on part of the responsibility of creating a clean, welcoming, and organized home.

3. *Mandatory Fun.* This is a time (you determine how often) when the family comes together to do something fun. Family members take turns choosing the activity, and even if there is resistance among family members, for example, they do the activity, enjoy themselves, and learn about each other.

The Gaulds underline these points by reminding parents to "be the parent."

"Many parents are in a power struggle with their kids," says Malcolm. "And some have relinquished their authority altogether...the power sits with their kids. The first thing parents have to get on board with, is that they are the adults in the relationship and need to set an example for what they really want from their kids."

In the end, parents can show their kids how to continue to grow as people, as family members, and as citizens, regardless of the economy by sticking with core values.

"The strongest relationships are those resting on a foundation of principles," says Malcolm.

To learn more about the Gaulds and their work, contact Rose Mulligan at (207) 837-9441 or visit greatparenting101.com and www.hyde.edu.